Coming Out.
I could list the joys of this time in my life... how much I love this season and have great friends and sit in coffee shops and go on walks in the crisp air, put on events with stringed lights and s'mores by the fire in flannel. Life is really good and there is much to be thankful for. But I've been living behind a mask for a long time. A whole lot of fakeness.
I've been in hiding. Trying to convince myself it's not true.
Covering this up brings shame and guilt and a whole lot of helplessness.
So...
I'm coming out.
No, no, no. not coming out of the "closet." {I like boys. A lot. A little too much, actually} I'm not making some big confession about a lifestyle or identity. And I'm pretty sure most would know that I stand with the Lord and His Word and not this world on the topic of homosexuality.
I'm coming out from a persona of perfection. Now hear me out, because if you are my friend you are sure to know i am about as messy as they come. Really messy. But to others.... to people I know but don't know, sometimes I put off that I have it all together and know all the answers.
Um. Hi. I don't. Like at all.
A buddy recently told me she bonded with me when I was being a jerk and said the word "shit" in the car. What?! Haha. Before she became a Christian I was someone she saw and thought I really did have it all together. Once I put my walls down she saw I was simply a real mess who JESUS was holding together.
I don't know all the answers, but I do know the answer. He has found me. He has called me out of hiding. He has burst my chains apart and given me Hope in my helplessness. He's replaced guilt with freedom.
So I'm coming out as a sinner. As a screw-up. Who's been SAVED and changed into a beloved child of the very One who saved me.
My previous resume???? Slave to sin. He intervened and wiped that slate clean. I have a new report card that says "Slave to RIGHTEOUSNESS."
I've been sitting under the authority of the Word and recently been wrestling with the book of Jeremiah. It kind of makes me squirm. It's beautiful. But there's parts in there I want to skip over. It's not an "underline-able" verse. Parts that are not something you paint on a canvas or tell your friends.
But that's exactly what I'm doing. :)
Jeremiah 7:8 says, "But look, you are trusting in deceptive words that are WORTHLESS."
Gulp. It talks about being two faced. Sinning and then coming before God like nothing happened:
"Will you steal and murder, commit adultery and perjury (swearing by false gods), burn incense to Baal (idol) and follow other gods you have not known, and then come and stand before me in this house, which bears My Name (presence), and say, 'we are safe'--safe to do all these detestable things? Has this house, which bears my Name, become a den of robbers to you? But I have been watching declares the LORD." Jeremiah 7: 9-11 Uh oh.
Here are God's chosen and precious people, prostituting themselves to other gods. Doing wrong and nasty things and then coming into the presence of Lord hoping for a "get out of jail free card."
You see, they already had a "get out of jail free card." God had already delivered them from slavery, both physical and spiritual. Yet they cheat on Him. So now His sanctuary has become a whore house, a den of robbers.
Do you know who else used the term den of robbers? Jesus. At the Temple. With whips and cords. Overturning tables and yelling zealously. Why? Because what they are doing is disgusting.
And God, El Roi -- the God who Sees -- watches it all. He sees their ugly, looks on their sin.
The problem? The people think they can get away with being bad if they do the religious steps and sacrifices and offerings. They can go out and intentionally do wrong as long as they come back and clean up their act.
Nope. God doesn't want just our religion. He wants a relationship. There's much more to it.
"For when I brought your forefathers out of Egypt and spoke to them, I did not just give them commands about burnt offerings and sacrifices, but I gave them this command: obey me, and I will be your God and you will be my people. (relationship) Walk in all the ways I command you, that it may go well with you. But they did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed their stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts. They went backward and not forward."Jeremiah 7:22-24
He told the people He saved to be His people by walking with Him and being obedient. Did they? Maybe for a day or two. But they chose their own way and will instead of His. Their evil hearts took them backward-- back into slavery and back into chains, instead of forward into freedom.
Are you going backward? Does your sin chain you up instead of obeying to be free?
They promoted their own words instead of His Word. Truth has perished, verse 28 says.
Disobedience is a result of LIES among our culture.
Jeremiah 8 says, "Since they have rejected the Word of the LORD, what kind of wisdom do they have?... From the least to the greatest, all are greedy for gain... all practice deceit. They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. "Peace, Peace," they say, when there is no peace."
They have simply put little mickey-mouse band-aids over gaping, nasty wounds. They say peace where there is no peace. That's like a doctor telling you no stitches needed when you have bloody gashes all over your body.
It simply is not true. Deceit leads to disobedience.
Jeremiah chapter 9 is even worse.
"They go from one sin to another; they do not acknowledge Me, declares the Lord. Friend deceives friend and no one speaks the truth. They have taught their tongues to lie; they weary themselves with sinning. you live in the midst of deception, in their deceit they refuse to acknowledge me." Deceit. Deception. Lies. No truth.
Sometimes people wonder why this world is so lost and in pain and suffering....
Why are you broken and dry?
"Why has the land been RUINED and LAID WASTE like a DESERT that no one can cross?" Jeremiah 9:12 Here's the answer: "The Lord said, it is because they have forsaken my law, which I set before them; they have not obeyed Me or followed My law. Instead they have followed the stubbornness of their hearts; they have followed the Baals (idols), as their fathers taught them." (v. 13-14) Disobedience leads to punishment.
He's mad because the people act good on the outside but are rotten on the inside. They've claimed His name but not sought His face.
He calls them "uncircumcised in heart." Circumcision was a sign to knowing God and belonging to Him. They had marks of the flesh and actions that claimed to know Him but ... they didn't obey them in their heart.
Senseless, foolish, and worthless. That is their condition now.
And even worse, they are BRAGGING that they are strong, smart, rich people.
The correct response is humility of ourselves and exaltation of God. Bow down, and worship.
"This is what the Lord says: 'Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom, or the strong man boast of his strength, or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he knows and understands Me; that I am the LORD who exercises kindness, justice, and righteousness on earth, for in these i delight, declares the LORD." (Jeremiah 9:23-24) Boast in what? In God! That you know and understand Him!
Well WHO is He? Who do I know and understand Him to be?
"He is the Maker of all things-- including Israel, the tribe of His inheritance, the Lord Almighty is His name." (Jeremiah 10:16) God contrasts Himself with the idols they are worshiping, who cannot speak, walk, or even save them, with this: HE IS TRUTH. He made them, chose them to be His very own people, and saved them with His power. Jeremiah's reaction should be our reaction.
To wrap it all up, we should come to the same conclusion as verse 23:
"I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps."
your life is not your own. you didn't even have life until he gave it to you. and then still you polluted it, and he saved you again. he re-made you into a new creation.
So this time, follow. this time, obey. this time, acknowledge the truth.
Don't cheat on God. He's not dumb. He sees everything.
I'm coming out. I'm coming out as a cheater, as a whore, as one who has played the prostitute in my heart and forsaken God for immediate satisfaction and trusted lies and left truth for what I thought was right ... my own way.
But there is GOOD NEWS: He's saved me. He's washed me with His blood of righteousness. I'm clean, and I'm free!
And as a freed person, as a girl who has her life in her hands and can do whatever she pleases...... what do I do?
surrender. like my Savior, i lay my life down. I deny myself. I become a slave again. but this time, to righteousness. and my Master? He's also my Father. A Father who loves me and calls me to obey.
"I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free!" Psalm 119:32 Whoever loses his life for Christ's sake will FIND it. I am coming out of hiding in sin into the realest life I've ever lived. Walking by the Spirit in truth and grace, I've become ALIVE. My life is full. I was a fool, and now I'm full. :)
There's abundance waiting You. There's a gift of grace on the other side. But you've got to choose Him. you've got to choose life.
Will you?
Abby Arthur is a senior in college. Teaching the Bible is Abby’s passion, firmly believing God trains her tongue to unfold the Word of God with boldness and faithfulness. Abby enjoys this season of life studying and working, as well as hiking, hanging out with friends, being in her cozy apartment, and watching sunrises in a cow pasture. Her mission verse is: “But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the Grace of God!” Acts 20:24
Visit her personal blog "Know and Understand."